I BLUR photos, BLURT my thoughts, feelings, secrets and it is my BLURB!
Words and photos by Kensaku Shioya 写真家・塩谷賢作のブログ


Reminiscent voices

reminiscent voices




“For oblivion after your birthday… Sincerely, G”
I received a small box from G, a friend in Hong Kong. There was a small pill bottle inside. The curious liquid tranquilizer smelled like burnt bones, looked like condensed rain cloud and tasted like rotted goat milk. It was suggested that I should take a tea spoon of the medicine before sleep. In the morning after the first trial I woke up and continued listening to who I met in a dream. Y, my father and S… I could hear their voices clearly as they were lying next to me, and everyone was much talkative than I know. Y’s voice was attractive again as same as I was with her 20 years ago and she said she still wears a perfume “Nina”. My father came up and told me a story of his memories with his pet deer in his teenage life in Manchuria. Suddenly S’s merry laughing voice appeared, she explained my father and me that I am too strict to myself and need a family to be with in my life. I wished I were with a small cat right at the moment then I heard crying of a cat for a long time. Unfortunately I did not have a language skill to understand what it said. The sky was blue and sunny beyond the window and I remembered I was living with the cat when I was 6 years old.

In the second morning I spent time with an American porn star that was killed in a traffic accident, a president of an elevator company, an ash tray seller and a she-male dancer. They asked me to go out together to my favorite bootleg CD shop in Fukuoka city. What cheerful idiots! Here came dogs I used to have and the party became much more loud and noisy. The lovely bitches of my own were too happy to meet me again and could not help barking and squirting. I was staring at dim light beams on the wall and my palm while I was hearing their voices. I found I have got internal bleeding in my palm almost disappeared. I also have got my eyes tired from the moonlit brightness of the room even it was still with the darkness of the night, and I felt my skin was so sensitive with breeze from windows.

In the night of the third trial, I gazed at the gray liquid on a silver tea spoon. Because of what I experienced in the last two days I thought this contained some heavy metal or a new type virus similar to rabies. I swallowed the pretty poison and fell into asleep. In the dream I was talking to L and eloquent of classical music I sometimes listen in my dreams and how they were marvelous. I am not so familiar to the kind of music and do not have knowledge but I was sure the music were completely original made inside of me. I woke up and it was L’s turn to talk to me, right next to me in the dark bed room. I was listening to L’s talking in his low voice about absolute zero temperature and a chocolate contains dry hawthorn. L asked me if I ever tried a floating (isolation) tank or not, and he hinted that the time in a bath tab with no light was my primal experience of it. I wanted to take another tea spoon of the tranquilizer and my palm crawled around my bed. It finally reached the tea spoon but the bottle. I grabbed the tea spoon and tried to remember people I heard the voices in order. I was still in bed and tranquilized in the day time, and the potion vanished. I thought one of the voices took it away and G was not longer in Hong Kong. G must have been a missing person again as usual.




posted by Kensaku Shioya at 10:11:54 | 日記 |

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